We had fun {inside}

More fun was to be had inside as well. With that much snow on the ground, the coziness of the cabin is pretty inviting.

 "Hang on the beam" is a fun game. And quite the thrill-ride since it's 12 feet off the floor.

 Sometimes a late-night movie inspires a dance party.

 And of course, indoor s'mores.

 They're always popular.

 

And snuggles. Lots and lots of cozy snuggles.

We had fun {outside}

I took a million pictures. Of the beauty. Of the snow. Of the fun. Here's some our fun outside....

 We played down by the river. And the kids "iceskated" on the chunk of ice in the stillness of the leftover pond we made this summer. Until it broke off. And then they slipped and slid on it and fell into the freezing river and laughed for a good half our after that. I think kids are immune to cold.

We built a couple of fires outside to toast marshmallows, make our lunch and warm up next to the fire. There's nothing like an outside fire in the snow.

 We went sledding! The track was slow(er) this year - no ice or rain to speed things up (aka, death-defying). For once I could go over and over again. And we managed a few with all four of us and Evie on the shoulders - she did question or ability to make a safe decision for her. Good girl, Evie.

 We rolled and played and laughed in the snow. And built a few snowmen.

 And grandma made hot chocolates to enjoy outside. Evie is a big fan.

 We had so.much. family time. It was grand.

 We enjoyed night fires and chatting. Because Parks was SO sick, cold outside air was best for him, so we kept him out as long and late as possible.

And I gazed at this warmly lit cabin through three feet of snow and marveled at how lucky we are.

Plain.

We traveled east again. East to the snow. East to the cozy. East to a sleepy town with a log cabin I love like home. A cabin in the woods next to a river that has frozen banks this time of year. Three feet of snow blanketed the ground and we spent our three days there walking paths in the snow that are so familiar I can describe the frozen ground underneath right down to the clump of grass and the spots where the chipmunks leave their strewn about pine-cones. There are no phones there, no computers or internet or wifi. Even our cells can't quite reach full service so only a few messages spatter in randomly and unpredictably. We spent silent hours with the snow softly falling building an igloo, making a frozen fire outside and sledding down the walking path. We stood on the banks of the river and admired the cold, black water rushing by. We read and slept and played. Parker had a terrible cough and was up each night for most of the night coughing and coughing. He managed his days on just a couple of hours of sleep, but the beauty that surrounded us plodded on and made those difficult nights seem easier away than in the comfort of our home. In a house that needs a fire to be stoked through the middle of the night, or the temperature inside dips down into the 20's, it seems natural to stay up all night, holding a sick boy while cuddled under an antique wool blanket. There's more to come and I've divided our time into snippets to share over the next couple of days.

Laughter.

The kids are skilled in their play. In their imagination. In the seriousness of their land of pretend. Last night we sat around the dinner table and chatted as we ate. I asked about school, about reading, about play in the afternoon. The kind, patient and sweet neighbor girl and fellow-carpooler met my kids' dreams and came over to play with them for a little bit. A big third grade girl who lets my kids dictate the game with a delightful "sure!" and joins in. What did you play? I asked. House, Parker responds. Oh? I say? "Yup. And I was the dad and Natalie was the mom and Evie was the baby. And I helped Natalie give birth to Evie. We made her lay down to do it. It went pretty well." And then, I nearly choked on my food. What did that look like? I asked (calmly. so, so calmly.) "Oh, you know. It's a lot of work. She had to lay down and get the baby out and I helped her. I told her to go to sleep and then I pinched her tummy and there was Evie! Like magic! It was beautiful." Oh, my stars. Good grief. I think that went ok? Even though it is ever so slightly off base? I heard from Natalie's parents that they had a very similar conversation over their dinner but it ended with Natalie proclaiming "I was NOT going to tell them the real way!"

And then there was tonight. The kids wanted to help Grandma and I get fixed up. They became doctors. They found some tape. Apparently tape fixes all ailments. They taped our eyes shut. Then when we protested they taped our mouths shut. Eventually they were saying things like "Stop breathing! That's it! Now you get the pinch!" and then they would pinch our toes really hard. Just like normal doctors? They eventually moved on and ripped the tape off and massaged our backs. Evie fixed my hair with a backscratcher at the same time. We were very confused. And we couldn't stop laughing. My mom kept looking at me and whispering "Just go with it! I think it's a part of the treatment" and turning to the kids and asking "Is this included? Does this cost extra?" Oh, the laughter. Over and over.

One more.

The kids and Jeremy were able to sneak in one more day of skiing on the Monday holiday while I went back to work. Jeremy tried to downplay how gorgeous and epic it was for me. :)

Top of the World

We almost didn't come up this weekend. A shared sleeping space and a sick and coughing child doesn't always bode well for a relaxing and fun family weekend. But we came anyway because we figured the cold mountain air and being outdoors might be good for the cough as well as our souls. And it was.

Lateness.

This week we had some sweet moments that arrived when we stopped, slowed down and allowed ourselves to just be late. It became a common theme and they all piled up and made me smile. Little treasures found a amongst a few extra minutes. This week's moments of lateness...

 I arrived home late after work on Monday to two kiddos who still needed dinner and baths and it was already time for bed. Jeremy was at work and usually that timeline sends shivers down my spine, but that night I took a deep breath, threw together some dinner-snack-leftovers and we played paperdolls while we ate and chatted about the day. I put two kids to bed, albeit late, but very content.

 Evie was late to school on Wednesday because of this little get-up. A three year old's interpretation of "Go get ready for school!" And a summer princess fairy arrived back downstairs, totally prepared for thirty degree sunshine. Sweet dad smiled and played princess for awhile before scooping her off to school, a little late and full of smiles.

 

 And on Thursday we were late to bed because sometimes someone is inspired to learn some chords just so he could sing "If You're Happy and You Know It" for the family. And when someone offers you a private concert in the comfort of your own home, you do what you need to do for that to happen.

And this wasn't late - it was early. Parker proudly leaving school with all of his homemade telescopes from craft time. When dad volunteers at the end of the day on Friday, one gets to walk down the empty hallways just before the bell rings. And that is priceless to a six year old. 

 

And this morning I felt like I got to sleep late. Parker and I got up as the sun was peaking over the mountain and quietly played legos while I sipped my coffee and knit a few rows. It was sweet and quiet and I felt as refreshed as sleeping in with the stillness and peaceful moments with my oldest.

Bedtime Talk

Conversations in the dark.

Everly's version of a secret:

I will play with Parker's dinosaurs while he's at school  and I'll tell him I went out for donuts and icecream so he doesn't know, but we should go out for donuts and icecream and I'll still play with his dinosaurs and I'll tell him we ate grass and lamps so he has no idea. But we really will get icecream and donuts. So he won't know about the dinosaurs.

Parker's version of love:

Momma, I love you so much. I love you as much as I would love gold. I love you as much as I would love diamonds. (pauses) Actually, I love you more than gold and diamonds because I don't have much use for those things.

Suprises

Parker's wish for his birthday this year? That it "could go on forever..." he said wistfully one night. So, we did our best. The night before his birthday we let him stay up late and watch a movie with just Dad and Mom whilst eating way too many jelly bellys to usher out his fifth year. The morning of The Big Six, Jer went in to work late by a few hours and took him out for donuts before school and spent the morning in his classroom with him. Grandma and Grandpa picked him up from school and had pizza and home-made cupcakes and balloons and party blowers. The next day, Wednesday, we celebrated with our Birthday Buddies at Menchies. On Thursday we skyped with our other Grandma and Grandpa and they sang happy birthday and chatted about how big he is now. On Friday we picked him up an hour early from school and took the family night skiing. On Saturday we made them "go to bed early" and then we decorated the ski condo with streamers and balloons and then "woke them up" for the reveal and he finally got to open up his presents. And today we stuck candles in the lunch brownies and sang "Happy Last Birthday" to him. All surprises, all drawn out, to make his birthday last a week. Parker noted this was the best birthday ever and he's planning on a birthday week next year already. Everly is on board too. :) And actually, most of our surprises were things we would have tried to cram into a day or two and we've decided that a birthday week tradition has begun in our family. A nice little drawn out celebration is in order for everyone.

 Skiing at Hyak has been a family affair since I was born. We ski with grandparents, great grandparents, cousins, uncles and friends. Friends who have been skiing with me for the last 32 years (!) and now we get to watch our kids ski together. They follow each other around in and out of the same little tree lined trails that we found as kids and I stand back in awe of it all.

 This little snow bunny not only skis on her own, but she also rips it up from top to bottom. I have to skip my turns to keep up with the little lady. When we were nightskiing and she got going REALLY fast on the ice, I told her "You MUST slow down!" and she looked at me in all seriousness and said "Momma, the skis go how they want to go. I can't tell them what to do." People were hooting for her from the chair. :)

 A sunny day! Everyone looking in one try! Be still my heart :)

We "put them to bed" while they giggled for half an hour in anticipation of the decorations. We always decorate the cabin we're at for Parker's birthday with a million streamers and he LOVES it.

 After five days of birthday surprises and patiently waiting, Parker finally got to open his presents. :)

Doosy

Parker's sweet birthday celebration yesterday was nice and simple, despite both Jeremy and I working that day (and Jeremy is working a double so he'll get home after 52 hours away), so dad missed the birthday evening. I arrived after work to pick up the kids and opened the door to an excited Parker and a tired Everly. I took them home and last night and  tucked them into their little beds, came back downstairs to work some more and went back up to check on them before I went to sleep. And I snapped this peaceful picture of Everly.

Oh, and then it all started crumbling.

Everly gets these horrific night terrors when she's overly tired. She looks completely awake and I can hold her and turn on the lights and stroke her face with a cold wet washcloth, and all the time she screams and cries as loud as I've ever heard her, her little body rigid and scared, but she doesn't remember a thing in the morning. Last night her night terror exceeded all others and lasted an hour and a half while I held her and tried to stay calm. Afterwards, I trudged back downstairs and climbed into bed. Everly woke up twice more to have me tuck her in again because she was missing her beloved blankie we forgot at Grandma and Grandpa's and a stand-in is very disturbing in the middle of the night. Parker came down before and after all of this three other times to tell me his throat hurt or he needed some water.

And then the icing on the cake.

Three-thirty in the morning arrived and I startled awake to the sound of crashing and things breaking in Parker's room. I ran upstairs to find a wild-eyed and scared little boy who was completely blue. Oh.My.Stars. I grabbed him and vigorously rubbed his back while he tried to suck in tiny amounts of air. I tried to calm him down because his panic was making it worse. Every time his airway opened enough to get a tiny breath he cried and it sucked closed again. After 30 minutes I got him relatively calm, he was still blue, and all the while I weighed my options of calling 911, waking Everly (who sometimes awakes to another night terror), and going by myself (since Jer is far, far away and can't come home until Thursday) - oh, the crippling decisions of a panicking mom! I waited it out. I held him like I did from when he was a baby until he was two years old when he was born with a collapsing trachea (a fitting stroll down memory lane on his birthday) and we slowly rocked and slept on and off until morning. He wheezed and remained ashen and bluish and I remained vigilant and slightly scared. We headed to the doctor this morning and he was diagnosed with a sudden onset form of croup that acts like an allergic reaction and completely shuts down the airway. It has no symptoms and no warning signs. He got a few round of steroids in his throat and within a few hours bounced half-way back. Our doctor told me he needed to lay low - no running, moving around quickly, exercising, or activity of any kind. Well, shoooooot. We were on such a good path until that point! This is a six year old boy. I quickly ran through some scenarios of taping him to a chair, but decided against it. He also told me to sleep with him tonight because it's likely to come back again. I'm going to be so excited to see Jeremy walk through that door tomorrow morning!

My plan to help him "lay low" was mild forms of entertainment. I decided we would still meet the Birthday Buddies for froyo because that's fairly low-key. And then my big plan was to park him in front of his favorite cartoon for the rest of the night. Perfect plan. No activity.

So, this afternoon we drove 3 minutes down the road to Menchies to celebrate for 30 minutes with our friends who share birthdays. I decided it was fitting for our day. Two kids with 5 hours of sleep, a momma with one hour and a boy who's throat still hurt and insisted frozen yogurt would feel good on it. So we went. We smiled and laughed and I wished the whole day leading up to it was different so I could spend more time there. But it was good for my soul anyway. To look at these other two moms who gave birth to these other two six year olds in rooms at St. Joseph's that were nearly next to one another. All of us there together at the same time and all of us here together, six years later. I love that so much.

 And then we came home and crashed. We all laid on the bed and watched Dragon Tales and ate snacks for dinner until it was near enough to 7pm that we could all throw on our jammies and finally head to bed, hallelujah. And I'm prepared for another night like the last but praying that it's a sweet night of snuggling in my boy and no breathing issues.

six.

My Lovey Parks,

You are six years old today. SIX! And while I hugged you and high fived you, and sang Happy Birthday to you in various accents this morning and this evening, and I pretended that I couldn't hug you because you'd grown so much overnight, and I laughed and kissed you throughout the day, what I really wanted to say is STOP! Slow down! Kid, this is too much for me. I still remember the night you were born. I remember them handing you to me, my eyes wide with wonder and looking into your even bigger eyes and your man-paw hands and wondering if I could do this. If I could live up to and exceed this gauntlet of parenting you had thrown. And the answer was yes. I absolutely could. And I could revel in each day of it, but now that the days and weeks and years seem to be piling up behind us, I want it all to slow down again. Slow down to those days when hours would pass with me holding you in my arms. When dumping sand into different sized buckets was the entertainment for the day. When I could arrange a snack in a smiley face on your plate and you thought I was your hero because of it (wait, you still like that and you still come to that conclusion because of it). :) You are six years old today. And I want to slow down and savor every minute of it because while things have stayed a lot the same, you are growing and changing and we are the brink of something. Six is big. Big school boy. Big friend maker. Big decision and opinion holder. But, you still let me hold you and rock you. I still play with you in the sand. But now you talk to me and share your hopes and dreams and thoughts about the world while we do so. I love it.

Parker, you are kind and sweet. You are growing in patience and knowledge. You are a leader amongst your friends and you are creative in your thinking. You love to ski, love to read, and love to play games with your family. You are a boy with a huge heart and you have concern for others and a desire to make the world a better place (including buying every homeless person a car and a house - dream big!). You tackle the world with a smile and an easygoing invitation to join you. You are an amazing boy. I love you.

Love, Momma

Oh, and ps. You are HIGHLY into treats right now.

Friends.

This past week I have been so blessed to see a bunch of friends, from far away and nearby. Friends who span the last nearly 20 years and friends who only know me as a mom. Friends who bring their kids and friends who delight in mine. Friends I get to see on a weekly basis and friends who have to take a long flight to reach me. My cup runneth over.

Bunklove

My sweet husband honors my wishes and dreams all the time. And then he goes above and beyond. Late one night I showed him a picture of a loft bed and asked him "Hey, could you make this for me?" A week later he had the wood. A week after that it was half done. But then we got sick, the kids got sick, he got sick again, and then Christmas happened. But we turned it into New Years and put it up today and I got to add all of my finishing touches. I wanted it to look like a Dreamy Wonderland for the kids so we strung up lights, broke out my old paper star lantern from high school and added a felted garland. We moved the kitchen underneath, along with all the doll and dress-up stuff. I added pillows and cozy blankets and restocked our collection of books in the basement. Then we did the Big Reveal.

Oh, their faces! They wandered and touched and explored. They asked if it was all for them. Then they started getting things out and moving things in (Parker told me "I have A LOT of great ideas" as he put the gigantic wooden clock inside). They cozied the bed, added a rug to the platform and hung a baby bassinet from the rafters. And then they deemed it complete. They INSISTED they sleep there tonight, but we'll save that for another time. We'll keep this excitement going for a little while.

a new year.

 

In keeping with our tradition, Jer had to work a 48 hour shift over New Years and my dear friend Anne came up and celebrated quietly with the kids and I. It's a special time for Anne and I that we have spent together the past few years. After being room-mates and soulmates in college, Anne moved to Seattle where we traveled shortly for New Years together but then with her big move down to California, it takes a little more effort to make it happen. But it still does. And we play with the kids and eat pizza and watch a movie and toast with champagne and sparkling cider. We do sparklers or crackers with the kids and put them to bed and chat the night away until the sound of fireworks outside let us know it's midnight. I love this girl so much and with sixteen years of friendship and whole lotta living behind us, we sift back into our immediate friendship right away, no matter how many states divide us now.

 Crackers!

 Look at that face. Not impressed with the party crowns!

 Cheers!

A last walk and coffee by the bay before Anne broke my heart and left for California. In other news, we've decided that our word for 2013 is dominate. Ha! And then we spent the entire day laughing at ourselves and what we're going to dominate. Starting with hoodies.